Monday, December 31, 2012

New year...

On this last day of 2012 I can only hope that with the new year comes a new lease on life for me. My body is slowly giving out on me. I spend 16+ hours in bed. I have little to no interest with interaction involving the outside world. The only people I talk to on the phone are my mom and brother. On top of HG I have a cold and can barely breathe. I'm ready for a fresh year and hopefully a fresh outlook on life!

I know it's too much to expect but I keep hoping I will wake up and this debilitating disease will be over. That I'll be miraculously healed and life will be normal again. It's too much. Too much to go through this existence that's hardly any existence at all. I'm able to keep food and drink down but only because I take two different medications four times a day each. Every three hours I'm taking something. It scares me to think that if I miss them...sometimes even if I'm just a bit late...I'll get sick. The dread of being sick rules my life. I'm tired and ready to give up.

So I really hope the new year at least provides me with a better look at things and the willpower to go on for five more months.

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