Saturday, December 8, 2012

A day.

Yesterday was good and bad. I was able to get some rest and that was good. My husband brought me pancakes and they tasted good. They sent me running for the bathroom after I ate them though.

My husband took our son to Grandma's. He had a good time and didn't want to leave! He had to be bribed with going to see his friends.

I was able to get dressed and go out for a bit. Overwhelming waves of nausea happened a few times but overall I did ok.

We went to small group and I made it through the night with pretty minimal nausea. I tried to stay in one place as much as possible and force my mind not to think about how sick I am. I got into the car to go home and almost immediately started puking. Halfway there I finally stopped (it's about a 20 minute trip). Got home and other unpleasantness started. Joy. After that I was exhausted and went to bed.

I woke up this morning with a headache. My husband gave me some Tylenol and I hope it helps. I don't feel like getting out of bed. Right now I'm lying here listening to my 20 month old jabber on in his own little language and it makes me miss playing with him so much!

I'm hoping today I can get in the bathtub and get clean. I'm not allowed to shower because I can't get my sq line wet. I guess I'll wash my hair in the kitchen sink if I have the energy.

It's so hard to accept that this is my life now. This debilitation. The frustration that I can't even do the laundry. We might have to get daycare for our son because I can't take care of him by myself anymore. I feel like my body is failing me. We were designed to do this and I can't. This disease scars you. It messes with your mind. Thoughts...irrational thoughts...come often. Nightmares happen almost every night.

I'll share more later. I don't want to get too depressed.

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